Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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