nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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