Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
