Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
