I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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