i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
