So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize