I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
