He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
