well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
