I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Michael Bay diarrhea
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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