Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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