I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize