They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
