Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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