i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
