She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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