I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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