is this the sara with the beer cane?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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