gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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