Dual....:-)
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
