Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize