she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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