then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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