For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
