He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
