i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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