Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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