My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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