you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
