very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
