on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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