So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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