We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize