I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
