She is in my trunk
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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