if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
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