Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
