I just cut my nipple shaving
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
BRING THE BAGELS
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
