oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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