Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
