bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
