Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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