Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
