Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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