Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
