he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Randomize
