Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
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It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
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Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I know her cup size but not her name....
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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