So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
