why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
