he was CRYING into my vagina
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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