i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
