I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
