I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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