The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
