he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
