I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
not ubering you a puppy
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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