Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
