I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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