mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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