i'm signing you up for texting rehab
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
