I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I still have a little drunk in my system
Randomize
