all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Randomize
