what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
