I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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