so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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