Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
When are your genitals available?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
