I feel like I'm in dance class right now
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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