I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
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We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
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Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina