i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
