Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
