It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
