Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
