No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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